Lately, I've been trying my hand at centering prayer. Centering prayer is a lot like meditation: you pick a word to focus on and use to pull your mind back if it wanders. Sounds pretty chill, right? Sounds like an excellent practice, right? Relaxing, focusing, centering...
WRONG!
Centering prayer may be all well and good for those who have mastered their minds, who are excellent at focusing, or who have absolutely no thoughts at all. I am none of these things, so I am AWFUL at centering prayer.
Let me just talk you through a session so you can picture exactly how difficult this practice is. I'm sitting on my bed, cross-legged, with my palms uplifted (opening my body for prayer, you know). I've set my alarm for fifteen minutes (a twenty minute practice is recommended, but, even though I think I'm pretty much awesome, I'm willing to start slowly).
The word I pick to center myself on is from my Bible readings for the day: Humility. From now on, as you read, picture yourself in my head for about 30 seconds.
Humility. Humility. Humility. I'm thinking about the word humility in a white room, free of distractions. Its a big sign...maybe made of white wood. Or maybe silver. NO! There is NO sign, there is only Humility. You are PRAYING! Humility, humility. I'm in a white room...maybe sitting on a white couch. No! No couch. Just me. And humility. humility. humility. humility. I can't wait to tell my roommate about this and how hilarious it is that I can't focus. NO! I'm NOT telling ANYONE about this. I AM PRAYING!!! HUMILITY!
You can imagine how smoothly the other fourteen minutes and thirty seconds went. By the time my prayer alarm went off I was sweating and my hair was disheveled and I was stumbling out of my room to tell my roommate what a spaz I am.
Not the awesomest today. Not even close.
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